So long has it been that I thought this blog lost, abandoned out in the aether of the Internet, a lost, lonely world of thought. Here it is however, found, saved from its desolation. It's coming up on a new year, I am a new me, so it seems only right and proper that I get back to this blog and shine it up, give it a polish and some shiny new thoughts.
This year I set a task for myself, to see a project...a real project, through to its completion. I have a bad habit of starting large scale projects, and nearly finishing them but always falling just shy of total completion. Built a bar for my husband, the bar is beautiful, the wood paneling and trim are all up and finished, the ceiling is half painted. The three season room converted to a four season game room, shelves are in, door is all put in, ceiling beams still need to be framed out. Started a novel, got about 30,000 words in and kinda petered out. You get the idea. I am great at little projects, I have an attention to details that make me great at small tasks that require attention. As soon as projects get too long or too in depth forget it, I'm done.
This fact was starting to wear on me. I felt like a failure at everything I did. I'm not, I do a great deal of things quite well. I don't mean that in a conceited manner, but I'm a good painter, a great cook, I am a really tidy person, and I'm a good writer. I know I do things well, but I couldn't get past the idea that I always stop short of my potential. It was easier for me to never finish and face possible criticism. The worst criticism started to come from me though, what was I doing with my life?
So I decided to challenge myself, I had stories dancing around in my brain, clawing, screaming to be let out for the world to know. November was right around the corner, and November means two things, Turkey Day, and National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I posed myself a challenge, take part in NaNo and finish, meet the goal of 50,000 words in the month of November. Now for NaNo it has to be a project from scratch so my 30,000 words on a previous story counted for nothing. I had to start again, a different story needed to be put to paper. The month progressed and to my surprise and delight, I didn't fall behind. Each day my word count climbed and page after page became a real tangible thing. The two great races clashed, each trying to outpace the other as the story unfurled.
I met my goal, November came to an end and I had over 50,000 words staring back at me from that glowing screen. I challenged myself again, 50,000 words was a fantastic start but it was by no means a full novel. So my new challenge, the real challenge, the real project, finish the novel and see if I could actually get it published. I have done a bit of work on it since November ended, not as much as I might like, but enough that it is by no means an abandoned project.
I will see it through to its end, be it a published novel on the shelves of bookstores everywhere, or just a finished manuscript tucked away on my shelf, its pages stamped with the rejection marks of a hundred publishing houses.
I am a new me, and this is my new book, and when I look at my life I will see all the projects I have completed, and the great works I have done, even if they are only great to me and a handful of family and friends. Welcome to my new world...